Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Accepting yourself





In the last 5 years, I've changed significantly - my look, my style, the way I view life. 5 years can seem long to some, short to others. To me, it's both. I went from a university student studying piano to Tokyo-based model, went from long, light-brown locks to short, black chops. In terms of looks, I've learned to fully appreciate the features given to me from my parents. Even my terrible complexion that is half-genetic and also caused by stress and other factors, are now my battle scars. 

If I had stayed in my hometown after college, I would have never known the world I am in right now. Living alone, away from my family, trying to navigate this country that is sometimes familiar, more oftentimes confusing because of my American ways. I've lost people, but gained connections and friendships of more people who have watched me grow, suffer, then grow some more. I am nowhere near perfect, but I'm finally learning to accept myself, the things I cannot change, and also the things I can improve. 

It might take some a long time before they are truly comfortable in their own skin, and that's fine. But it really doesn't help to compare yourself to others, to be better than other people, and not be a better version of yourself. I can say that it didn't really help me. Find inspiration in others and your surroundings, and incorporate that into your ever-changing self. Then maybe, people will find inspiration in you, too. Love yourself first - it will change everything only in good ways.


この5年間、私は色んな意味で変わったと思います。外見も、スタイルも、人生を見る目線も。5年という月日を短く感じる人もいれば、長く感じる人もいるでしょう。私は両方です。5年間で、ピアノを勉強していた大学生から、日本で活動中のモデルになりました。長い茶髪のウェーブから、短くて黒いボブへ。ルックに関しては、親から授かった骨格には感謝しています。ニキビで悩んだ肌も半分遺伝だけど、でも今では戦いの傷と思えるようになりました。

大学卒業後もずっと実家の方に残っていたら、今いる世界に出会えなかった。家族から離れて一人暮らし、理解できるときとできない時の差が大きいこの国。でもそれは、自分の中のアメリカ人が抜けてないから。大切な人を亡くし、でも、掛け替えのない人たちとの出会いや友情を築くことができた。この人たちは、私の成長、苦しみ、そしてまた成長を見守ってくれている。全然完璧ではないけど、自分を受け入れるようになってきたし、自分で変えれること、変えられないことがだんだんはっきりしてきました。

自分の肌、自分の身体の中で本当に居心地がいいと思うまで、時間がかかる人はいるかもしれない。けど、それは全然大丈夫だと思う。でもね、周りの人と比べてしまうと、自分をより良くすることができないかもしれないよ。いいバージョンの自分を目指すには、周りをインスピレーションにして、それを上手く取り入れたらいいと思う。そうしたら、周りもあたなをインスピレーションとして、見てくれるかもしれない。自分を好きになったら、色んなことが良い方向に変わります。




Photos by Ryo Maeda, hair & makeup by Tadaaki Higashimura

19 comments:

  1. Such beautiful words with gorgeous photos! Thanks for sharing this! :)

    http://roadesque.com
    http://ourruins.com

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  2. Beautiful words. Turning 23 this year and it is kinda scary how much I've grown the past 5 years. Thank you for sharing <3

    Real Life Nerd // www.vivienekok.com

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  3. These pictures are so expressive. Also really like the text - it truly takes a lot of time to accept the person you really are, until you're comfortable with yourself. By the way, being half-genetic is something I'm quite familiar with, as well. There'll always be people judging others by their appearance, but I think it got a lot better with the globalization/the world being multicultural as never before :)

    Patrick | www.nevernotinspired.de

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  4. Loving the photos, super beautiful. And the wiring is beautiful too <3

    The Quirky Queer

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  5. lovely post and gorgeous photos! I have definitely grown to love myself more over the past 5 years, it's an amazing feeling.

    http://splitneedles.blogspot.com

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  6. very well written samantha, i totally agree with you that it all begins with self-love. and you studied piano, wow! i always had a thing for people who were musically talented. :)

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  7. Such an inspiring post Samantha! I agree, we should strive to be better versions of ourselves rather than those of others. These are very encouraging words to hear today so thank you for that! Sending you warm wishes from Chicago! :) xo~ Lena
    www.felinecreatures.com

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  8. I really admire your ability to be independent and just living your life well! I would be way too scared to move so far away. I've enjoyed watching your transformation as well. <3 you!

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  9. Love your message, and the photos! I used to hate the idea of change, but now I've embraced it. It's just a part of human nature, and it should be celebrated.

    Stephanie @ Sartorial Diner

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  10. wow! the first photo is just amazing. I love this post.

    http://moje-kreacje.blogspot.com

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  11. You're so beautiful, Sam! :)

    Kindly visit my blog,
    BEHIND THE FABRIANNE’S
    Thank you :)

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  12. you are absolutely stunning, that natural beauty wow!!!!
    BamBam BLOG
    xxx

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  13. ちょうど周りと自分のことで悩んでいたので
    まりこさんの「周りをインスピレーションにする」ってことばがとても胸に響きました☆
    Those photos suites to your message very very much!!!

    akiko

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